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 Members Only > Group Members > A User's Guide to Politicians
A User's Guide to Politicians
"and if it don't work, get a bigger hammer, and if you can't cut it, get a bigger knife..."
-a Vermont troubadour
The election's over. It seems like forever before you'll be able to hold the ballotbox over elected officials' heads again. Now, how do you get their attention? All of our toxic fights are 90% political, 10% technical - so do we have to sit it out until the next election seasons?
The answer, of course, is "No." When your issue first arose, your first thought wasn't "Ahah! We can make this an election issue!" More likely, your group tried to figure out, "Who's got the power to help us" and then, "What do we have to do to get them to help?" Even after the election, politicians remain politicians, sensitive to pressure. Election time only makes them a little more nervous.
Dealing with politicians, you need to decide what kind of relationship you should have to get what you want. In the long run, it's better to have them respect or even fear you than like you.
Some groups (and in every group, some members) think it's good to get chummy. We don't. Sooner or later, you pay a very heavy price for that friendship. Some examples:
- Rep. Bullflop came around to your very first meeting, said he was with you 100% and would go right to work to solve your problems. You never see him again. Plus, you never see half your members again, since they figure Bullflop will keep his word.
- Councilman Lipflap regularly attends membership meetings. People respect Lipflap. But every time the group thinks about taking action, Lipflap says, "No, that's too emotional, no, that's not how you get things done-do it this way." and prescribes a dull, boring, and basically futile plan for getting some meaningless ordiance passed. Folks buy it, because Lipflap's nice.
- Every time Sen. Boondoggle comes to your meeting, he uses it as a political grandstand. Boondoggle looks nice, talks grand and has gotten many key group members working on his campaign. People turn away from your group saying, "They're nothing but Boondoggle's election committee!"
- Your friend, Mayor Smoothie, asks for the group's endoursement. You give it. Kiss any chance of getting tax-exempt status for your group good-bye.
- Even worse, Mayor Smoothie gets re-elected. But now, Smoothie says, "Gee, this issue is a lot more complicated than I thought. We'll have to study it some more." How do you beat up on a friend?
Politicians are a tool that groups can use to win their goals. You don't make friends with a screwdrive -you use it- and besides, you yourself don't want to get screwed.
Rules For Using a Politican-Screwdriver
1. Use the right size for the job. Too small (too weak or low ranking) and there's not enough power to do the work. Too big (too powerful or high-ranking) you won't be strong enough to turn it.
2. Stick it in the right slot. If you need a state law, for example, don't use a city council member.
3. Apply the right amount of pressure while turning in the proper direction. Tools, even power tools, don't work themselves. They have to be guided, aimed, and forcefully held in place.
4. Don't let it slip out of the groove. Watch what you're doing. Don't get sloppy.
5. Keep at it till the job's done. The finished product will fall apart later if you drive the screw only halfway through the Board.
6. If it doesn't work, get a better tool, and
7. Don't ever go to work with only one tool in your toolbox.
8. Keep it clean, well-oiled, and properly stored-in your toolbox not in a velvet case.
Reward politicians who help you by publishing their records and publicly thanking them. But don't get too grateful - they're helping you because you showed them it was in their self-interest to do so.
Use your politician/tool by regularly holding "Accountability Sessions" calling for specific, concrete answers on important group concerns from the politicians. CHEJ's ($9.00 postpaid) has detailed advice on how to conduct an "Accountability Session".
In closing, the wisest advice we ever got about tools from a sainted grandmother: "Grab the right end, boy, and hold on tight!
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